Fate is a weird feeling. It’s not karma; that’s for feeling something coming due. It’s not destiny, because it’s not “the end.” More like a required plot point in the story of a life.
I’m waiting on a settlement offer I’ve already agreed to; otherwise the divorce that brought me back to Chicago in January 2023 would be complete. Thanks to DOGE, I was let go with no due process on February 17 along with well over 100,000 other federal employees, thus ending my time with the US National Archives. Since DOGE didn’t follow any due process, it wasn’t until mid-April that I finally received Unemployment benefits, as well as SNAP and Medicaid.
Those two months were TOUGH with my (soon to be) ex still holding a substantial amount of my cash reserves and my meager savings over the past year dwindling. At the end of April, I moved back into my parents’ house. I’m finally stable enough to not immediately worry about how I’m going to eat or where I’m going to live, or how the kid is going to get medical insurance. That’s how I have the spoons to finally post.
I’m where I need to be, returning to the beginning of the chapter that just closed.
I have a plan to move forward. That’s a lot better than I’ve been. I feel like I've treaded water since 2021 and while the job, income, location, marital status, body weight and hair color changed, I've yet to feel like I'm moving forward even though I've been moving... forward?... the whole time.
I’m planning to go to barber college on a grant for displaced workers. I wish I could start barber college tomorrow, but there are hoops to go through and A LOT of displaced workers since the inauguration. This is layoff numero seis in my career, and I am taking this opportunity to tap out of tech entirely. Everything that touches tech is now tainted with “AI” (in quotes) and I don’t have it in me to kowtow to and around the bullshit anymore. Not when there’s no reward for it.
Even though I’m interested in barber college, there’s a chance an American Job Center will match me for a job before I even get approved for the grant to go back to school. Their focus is on employment, not necessarily training. I’m trusting the process; these processes have moved and continue to move s-l-o-w-l-y. I will just keep swimming, I guess. Maybe I’ll be a CTA bus driver. Maybe I’ll go to Truckmasters and live out my “Over the Top”/“Smokey & the Bandit” dreams.
Maybe I'll go into dog grooming. My mom brought me an application from Pet Supplies Plus and I filled it out. Not like anyone's called me for an interview despite applying for instructional design, product management, training, project management and a host of other jobs I'm certain I'm qualified to do.
I wrote a couple of songs I want to produce fully, so in lieu of employment, I plan to take the abundance of time I have to learn what I need to make the sounds I have in my head. In addition to playing disc golf, biking, cooking and gardening. Going to shows is a luxury I can’t afford, so except for CAKE at Summerfest and Nine Inch Nails, this summer is likely going to be a lot more street festivals, live dj sets. Once I can upgrade my streaming capabilities I’ll be posting my own sets, if not streaming them live.
Anyway, I plan to write weekly from here on in. I need structure; in layoff mode, it’s really easy to isolate. Please subscribe so I don’t need to keep using LinkedIn to keep in touch with you because it’s the sole remaining social media to which we all belong.
